it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
