I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
