Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
