Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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