You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize