About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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