Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both

(650): View more from California

i think otters can do that

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(519): View more from Ontario

why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?

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(917): View more from New York City

She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic

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(980): View more from North Carolina

i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!

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(847): View more from Illinois

This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY

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(256): View more from Alabama

I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".

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(417): View more from Missouri

How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....

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