I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
