Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
