my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize