R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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