either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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