Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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