i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
