i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
