Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
