Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
