wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
