by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
The air taste purple.
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