I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize