im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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