Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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