I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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