in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
