i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
