Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I will be naked everywhere
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
