I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
