I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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