I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
