quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
