Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
