ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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