God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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