rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize