he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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