just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
