How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
