How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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