His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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