I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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