That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We talked him into tasing himself.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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