By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
