i just made my gag reflex go away.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
