i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
