The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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