OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
