I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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