In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Someone shit on the floor
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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