I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
