Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize