i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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