I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
