Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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