also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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