Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
