you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
