just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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