there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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