He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
