I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
