This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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