how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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