So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I want to fling myself into the sun
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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