i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
COCAINE IS GR8
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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