the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize